Thursday, September 10, 2009

Question # 7 - Women in Ministry

(note: Sorry for the delay. Started this three weeks ago, then was crushed with vacation, then getting back into the flow of things... I welcome your feedback!)

What do you think about women in ministry? What positions can she hold? Why did Paul write what he did?

Wow, what a loaded question. I feel somewhat safe though entering into the fray. I got me five beautifully, talented girls and an amazing, gifted, incredible wife. One of my five girls, I even adopted. I couldn't get enough! Regardless of what I say, no one can doubt me that I am indeed pro-women!

Genesis 1:27 - Man and Woman are made in the image of God. They are equal in value and equally gifted and necessary for God's plan of redeeming the world to Himself.

But, what about women in ministry, specifically, church pastoral ministry...?

Here are the two extremes:
In one corner, women are not allowed to be pastors, elders, teach or hold authority over a man.

The verses likes these are cited:
1 Timothy 2:11-15

11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

The command is based not on women's lack of learning or a cultural issue that Paul is dealing with. His reasoning is based on God's created order as established in Genesis.

1 Timothy 3:2-5

2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?

An elder is the husband of one wife, It seems pretty clear that the leadership structure is set so that men will lead the churches.

1 Corinthians 14:33-34

33 For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, 34 the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says.


Again, not exactly politically correct, but clear, and refers to the law as its reasoning.


In the other corner, women are allowed to teach, preach, lead and hold authority over a man.

And the verses in that corner are, uh, hmm...

Well, o.k. there is this verse:
Galatians 3:27-28
27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Great verse but says nothing about church leadership.

Or Priscilla was talked about as a leader of a church plant in Romans 16.
She was definately a team with Aquila in the planting of a church, and her name often comes before her husbands. But, there is nothing clear regarding God's plan for church leadership in the little we have about her.


Other than that, there aren't a lot of verses that seem to support this idea of women holding pastoral leadership positions in the church. Now, I am just stating it as I see it, but I can't understand how people can justify it biblically.

So, what does that look like practically?
A women can teach other women, like it says in Titus 2.
A women can teach children like it says in 2 Timothy 1:5 and 2 Timothy 3:14
A women can teach men like Priscilla did to Apollos in Acts 18:26.
A women can be a deacon according to 1 Timothy 3:8-13, (deacon being a gender neutral term and the passage is structured different than the elder passage in 1 Timothy 2)
A women can even teach at a conference or at a bible study or praying in front or sharing in a church setting... Why would I say that? Because what is being talked about mostly here is the teaching that comes with the authority that comes with leading and shepherding a church as an elder.

So, a women cannot be an elder which is a pastor. That was ordained by God in the Law and in the created order. Why? I don't know. Maybe because women are specially designed to bear children and have the ability to raise children. That is an amazingly difficult role, one of which my children are very thankful that I do not have. God doesn't always give reasons why but in this scenario, with this specific question, I have to go with the clear evidence that I see in the Bible...

So, as my little girls become little women, I will teach them clearly and with gentleness and humility what the Bible has to say. But, I will teach them to teach others that God may spread the word of God to the world through their lives and words... Amen!

I would love to hear any other feedback. Bring it on!

(I just got a comment "There is nothing wrong with women in ministry." I just want to clarify that I totally agree with that comment. There are a whole assortment of ministry options for women. Missionary, youth, women, conferences and much, much more... I was just speaking specifically of being an teaching elder/pastor of a church.)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Women in Ministry it is...

What is your take on women in ministry? Would love to hear your biblically based thoughts and comments as well your opinions and experiences...

Comment in, with your name or just anonymous...

I'll answer by Saturday!

Steve

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Question #6 - What does "honoring your parent" look like when..

Sorry about the delay in writing. It seems preparing for a conference has swallowed up any extra time. I have been thinking though about this quite a bit.

There didn't seem to be a lot of comments regarding this topic, and so I am not sure what to make of that. But, I will give it my best to make it relevant.

This idea of honoring your parents has been something I have worked and thought through from many angles. The only angle I haven't experienced it is as a grandparent. I have grown up a child, teenager, adult, as a married man and now as a father.

I remember a while back, as I struggled with the reality of having three kids under six, thinking, wow, this parenting thing is really hard. And I remember even talking to my parents and thanking them for their sacrifice, especially for loving me during my first 5 years when everything you do for them, they will never remember. Being a parent gives insight into this command, "Honor your parents." I have used that verse from Ephesians 6 often when trying to help my kids obey me. :)

Once you have realized how much sacrifice, unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, and tireless giving goes into being a parent, you will have new light and grace in this idea of honoring your parent. My true hope is that I will not ruin my kids too much as a parent. (I often wonder what they will have to recover from as they get older and how they will talk about me). So, it is hard. My anger gets the best of me too often. I am too selfish. I feel the guilt of never being good enough. I don't pray enough for my children. I don't play enough with them. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I am just into my double digits now, with K being 10.

But, the issue is bigger than just obey. Ephesians 6.1 says obey. And then he quotes the verse from Exodus 20:12 and talks about honor. It is the same word that is quoted in John 5:23 where the Father honors Jesus and where Jesus honors the father in John 8:23. And in John 12:26, Jesus says, whoever serves me, the father will honor. The word honor means to esteem or to revere. The same word is used of God, Jesus as well as kings. One definition I really like is actually used in found in Matthew 27:8-10 8 Therefore that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day. 9 Then was fulfilled what had been spoken by the prophet Jeremiah, saying, “And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him on whom a price had been set by some of the sons of Israel, 10 and they gave them for the potter’s field, as the Lord directed me.”

The words "a price has been set" is the exact same Greek word as honor. So, in essence, honor is this idea of setting a price or value for a person. How much is a person worth? That is the essence of honoring. It is an attitude issue. And so when it says, "honor widows" as it does in 1Tim 5:3 or "Honor everyone" as it does in 1 Peter 2:17, we are to fix a value and a price on people that is worthy of being a child of God, a person in authority, or in this case, your parents.

Obedience and honor go hand in hand when you are a child under authority, but what when you go to college, you begin living your 0wn life or your wife is someone elses child? How do you honor them then?

The biggest thing is give you parents a high price because most of all, God calls us to do it and He in His sovereignty not only commands it, but has divinely ordained your parents to be your parents. Your honoring of them is obedience to God and shows your faith in God that you trust Him, that He is in control and that above all sense and feeling, you must obey God. But, second, we can give them a high price because of the sacrifice they have paid for you, because of the hours and money and life they have given on behalf of you. Lastly, honoring is humbling of yourself and thankfulness and rejoicing and praising, all of which, are extremely pleasing to God.

As you get older, parents might confuse honoring and obedience. I remember one time when we were going to buy a car. We asked both my wife's parents and my parents what they thought we should do. They gave us opposite advice. We were going to go against one set of parents no matter what we did. We are not dishonoring them by going against one set. Honoring can get confused by a lot of things, feeling pressured to do every Christmas and Holiday, it can be wrongly abused if a couple doesn't leave and cleave to each other and honor does not mean that parents comes before our allegiance to follow Jesus. Leaving our families to move to Africa is an example of honoring Jesus before our families. That was hard, but Jesus comes first.

But honor should mean, that you pray for your parents, often. That you forgive them for their hurts they have caused you. That you speak well of them, or at least not bad of them, and that you honor them with your words (this means you can share with people your hurts, but don't speak maliciously of them with the intent of hurting them.) Honoring also means giving them a high price even if they don't deserve it. Honoring means that you esteem them even if they don't esteem you, respect you or love you. (The original question came from someone whose father didn't want anything to do with the son... very difficult to honor when you feel totally disowned and unloved, but God's commands don't come with exceptions. We are only responsible for our own obedience. Perhaps your honoring of them even in their worst will be what changes them, like a Christian spouse who loves their non-christian spouse.)

Our honoring of our parents is what we will be judged with in Heaven. What price do you have set for your parents in your mind? Are they worth a million dollars? Two millions? Two pennies? How you treat them is the price you have set. Raise the value and keep raising the value. Love them unconditionally even if they don't deserve it. And if you have had awesome parents, praise them and love them and thank them.

True, this is a heaven issue. How you respond to this issue will be seen not only in heaven, though, but also on earth, as it is the first command with a promise, that life will go well with you.

Thoughts?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Question #6 - What does "honoring your parent" look like when...

You get older, move out of the house, get a spouse, job, life, etc...?

How do you "honor your father and mother" when they are so utterly undeserving of it? You don't respect them, like them, and/or they don't care about you?

How do you honor your parents as you get older and you don't agree with their decisions?

How do you honor your parents within a good relationship?

How do you honor your parents when there are in-laws now in the picture?

Lots of question... You gotta have an opinion (or question) in there!

Just a reminder. Please subscribe so you can stay linked in!
Steve

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Question #5 - What should I think/do about pirating?

My question has to do with pirating, especially of music and movies. I know it's wrong, but at the same time I have a lot of stuff downloaded or obtained from friends who download. What should be my mindset for this?

Also, what should be my mindset especially with gray area, such as movies you own or friends own, or music you can easily grab off of Youtube, or stuff that you can't find in stores?


Well, I think those who have commented bring up great points! And so to add to the bigger picture of this question, I wrote a friend who has a friend in a band you might know, Death Cab For Cutie. This band member, a non-Christian who plays in this secular band wrote this back:

here's my response to the question below:

my feelings are very cut and dry on the matter: downloading music that is intended and available for purchase without paying for it is stealing. if we as artists didn't want you to pay for our work, we would go to the trouble of manufacturing CD's to be distributed to stores or uploading them to itunes, we would simply offer them to you for free at our shows or on the internet. therefore, as a general rule i would say that if an album is as available for purchase with the click of a mouse as it is for free, the 'right' thing to do would be to pay for it, not steal it.

out of print work is a tricky area, though. i often have a hard time locating some of the obscure music i'm looking for on itunes or at the record store. therefore, i don't take issue with the trading of such work on the grounds that it is not available for purchase. here's an example: we made a split 7" with a band called fiver almost 10 years ago. there were only 500 copies pressed and they sold out almost as soon as they came out of the factory. the only way to hear that recording is to a) bid for a copy on ebay or b) download a burned-from-the-vinyl copy somewhere out there on the web. as the creator of that piece of music, i would LOVE to see it available in all its glory on CD or itunes, completely remastered, cleaned up, etc. (mostly because I would like a good copy :) ). but until that day comes, i can't fault people for downloading that song for free because we have not made it available to date. i would rather my out-of-print work be traded and kept alive than have it be unavailable to our fans.

does that help?


ben


Yup, that is that "Ben" the lead singer of the band.

I asked for this because I really wanted us Christians who want non-Christians to know and love Jesus to think about what a non-christian band member really thinks. What kind of witness are we setting for non-Christians when they have stronger convictions about stealing than us. Instead of looking to us as models, they will look down on us and I think lose respect when they see us stealing music and videos. Let's consider the bigger picture. I know I struggle when I hear that people steal music. Let's honor those who have worked hard to make music we enjoy by paying for it.


Mark 12:17-18

17 Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” And they marveled at him.




I think Easton's comment pretty much sum it up: I'll include the whole thing here.

Perhaps its cause I was looking to go into the recording industry, and my some of my friends at school actually are, that I know a bit about the copywrite laws behind this, and have heard of all the effects that pirating has done to the industry itself. Essentially the major record labels are going bankrupt because of it, the recording industry is on it's deathbed, music will still happen somehow, through advertising or some other means of making money through it, but yeah we killed the industry as we know it today. So yeah here are the copywrite laws boiled down into a few sentences. It is illegal to both steal music and share music and movies. But you can share them with members of your household(immediate family). So no internet pirating; you can't share movies or music with your friends; you can't grab stuff off of youtube, they are violating copywrite laws putting it up there in the first place. If you can purchase it somewhere it probably isn't free, and you are stealing it if you take it. As far as stuff you already have already stolen or shared, the media industry has stated several times in the past that they won't press any charges if you delete all of stolen or shared stuff that you have and don't do it any longer. I think that is a pretty good deal. So yeah there really aren't any gray areas as far as I am concerned, and we should probably stay out of those anyway as a Christian, since we are to be "pure and blameless" and "shine like stars in the universe". I'm not sure if it gets any clearer then that. The ten commandments say don't steal. According to federal law piracy and sharing copyrighted materials is stealing. Therefore we are breaking one of the ten commandments if we steal or share music. If you want some more proof on the copywrite stuff, you can ask me any questions via e-mail at eastgoingeast@gmail.com. I have some friends that just went through a music business class, where they had to read through all of the legal stuff, I am just telling you what I heard from them. But I can ask them and they can tell me for sure if there are any doubts.


Well, hope that helps.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Question #5 - What should I think/do about pirating?

My question has to do with pirating, especially of music and movies. I know it's wrong, but at the same time I have a lot of stuff downloaded or obtained from friends who download. What should be my mindset for this?

Also, what should be my mindset especially with gray area, such as movies you own or friends own, or music you can easily grab off of Youtube, or stuff that you can't find in stores?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Question #4 - The Purpose of Church

What is the purpose of the church/community? What makes a good community? And if you are not in a good community how much of a duty do we as Christians have to stay in that community and help change it?

Well, I guess, first of all, the question is, Is the church even needed? I remember talking to a friend who had been involved with Navigators and other college ministries, whose church experience growing up was one of boredom and monotony and politics. He had a real heart for evangelism, and didn’t see the church as the answer. He said I spend 90% of my time with non-Christians and 10% with my small group. When I told him that church was necessary and important, he looked at me like I was crazy.
I was talking to another person who for a period of time didn’t go to church but just listened to sermons on his Ipod and hang out with his Christian friends.
I was talking to another friend who went to a large mega church and while he loved the preaching and worship, even though they had been going for six years, they had no friendships in that church.
A decade or so ago, we are not really having this conversation. There was no online sermons, no large mega churches, no books that teach the church is irrelevant and unnecessary. It seems we are in the middle of a major shift that doesn’t seem like will unshift any time soon.
So, the question is appropriate. Is the church necessary? How do I do community? What is God’s desire and intention with all of this?
The first thing we need to establish is, is it necessary?
Ephesians 1:18-23
18 having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

Paul is praying for the Ephesians and he prays that the eyes of their heart would be enlightened to know HOPE, INHERITANCE and POWER. But, he goes off on a tangent on power by illustrating it in the resurrection of Jesus Christ and His ascension to the right hand of God, above all authority, powers and everything in this age and in the age to come. Everything is put under his feet. And God did one more thing, He gave him as head over the church which is His body. If Christ is the King, and his domain is the church, and this rule continues on forever, we have to believe that the church is still relevant and necessary today.
Ephesians 5:25
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

It couldn’t be more clear. Christ loved the church. Christ gave himself up for the church. Do you think the church is important?

Colossians 1:16-18
16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.

Chris is the above all things and then specifically, he is head of the body, THE CHURCH!

Jesus established his intent and it started with Peter.

Matt 16:18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Not only does Christ love and die for the church, Christ is also the builder of the church. Hell will not win. We can’t forget that Jesus is the builder and it is His Church.
Church is not only important, it is necessary.
But, what about small groups? What about house churches? What about family church? Why the church?
Or, the better question is what is it about a church that makes it the kind of church that Christ is the head over?
The early church set the pattern for all churches:
Acts 2:42-47: 42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

So, what does Jesus want for his church?
And, I see seven things a church needs to be:
1. Worshipping God through song and through the teaching of the word faithfully (teaching)
2. Authority of elders to convict, correct, lead and appoint. (apostles)
3. Communion (breaking bread in church)
4. A place of prayer (prayer)
5. A place of using supernatural gifts (Spiritual Gifts)
6. Caring for the poor (selling and giving)
7. Fellowship with Believers (breaking bread in the homes)
8. A place where people become Christians. (Lord added to their numbers)
Let’s look at a few verses to see if what started in Acts 2 actually continued:
Here are some more verses:
1. Worshipping God through song and through the teaching of the word faithfully (teaching)
Acts 20:26-30
26 Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all of you, 27 for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. 28 Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. 29 I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; 30 and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them.

Paul spoke the whole counsel of God and encouraged others to guard the flock with sound teaching. Teaching is definitely a key part
2. Elders and accountability
Acts 14:23 And when they had appointed elders for them in every church, with prayer and fasting they committed them to the Lord in whom they had believed.
Matt 18:17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
The church is a place of accountability. When people sin, they are to be disciplined. The church helps us be holy.
Elder are given for leadership and vision. They lead the church with fasting and prayer and they are the vehicle for which the Holy Spirit guides the church
3. Communion – breaking bread together
1 Corinthians 11:23-26
23 For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” 25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

4. A place of prayer
Acts 4:31
31 And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness.

Acts 6:6
6 These they set before the apostles, and they prayed and laid their hands on them.

Acts 8:15
15 who came down and prayed for them that they might receive the Holy Spirit,
Acts 8:22
22 Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you.
Acts 12:12
12 When he realized this, he went to the house of Mary, the mother of John whose other name was Mark, where many were gathered together and were praying.
Acts 13:3
3 Then after fasting and praying they laid their hands on them and sent them off.

Acts 16:25: About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them,

Acts 20:36: And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all.
Acts 21:5: When our days there were ended, we departed and went on our journey, and they all, with wives and children, accompanied us until we were outside the city. And kneeling down on the beach, we prayed

Praying was a huge part of their lives…


5. Spiritual Gifts
Romans 1:11-12: 11 For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you— 12 that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.

There are other verses, like Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 which talk about using your gift to build up the body. Church is a place to serve and be served.
6. Caring for the poor
Acts 4:32-37: 32 Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. 33 And with great power the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. 34 There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold 35 and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. 36 Thus Joseph, who was also called by the apostles Barnabas (which means son of encouragement), a Levite, a native of Cyprus, 37 sold a field that belonged to him and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

Money was truly God’s and the church used it to help so that no one was needy.

7. Fellowship with believers
1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

A fellowship based on holiness and Spirit-producing love.

8. A place where you become Christians

Acts 16:5 So the churches were strengthened in the faith, and they increased in numbers daily.
The goal is for a church to grow in number, to be a conduit for many coming to faith in Christ by both building up believers to share their faiths as well as having communities that demonstrate Christ-centered living.
So, in essence you see the pattern of the first church was exactly what the churches patterned themselves after.

It just seems so simple and it makes sense. Why has something that should be so good turn out so bad? Why does it seem like Hell is prevailing? Where are we missing the boat?
Well, I really think if you take one of these factors out, your church will miss out.
No good worship or teaching? God isn’t God.
No real fellowship? No one grows and enjoy the sweetness of Christian relationships.
No elders and accountability? No accountability, no vision and no church discipline.
And so on.
The biggest problem with churches is that they have sinners in them and sinners tend to make a mess of things. It seems so simple and yet our pride, our worldliness and our selfishness tends to make a ruin of what should be the most holy.
So, Church is important and here are some things you should look for in a church.
As far as community goes, what makes good community?
In a general, a community that functions within a church setting will have some of the above characteristics of a church. Obviously there will be no elders, but a small group is for fellowship, sharing meals, serving each other with our gifts and helping the poor. What makes a great community? I would say if you are in the word, praying together, eating and serving the poor in some ways together, you will have a great group. The problem is that sometimes we just Bible study ourselves to death. Bible study is great, but you know enough to change the world. Instead of being inward, go outward and do it together. Pick a place of ministry and do it together. If you look at the next verse, what are we to stir one another to do? LOVE and GOOD WORKS.

Hebrews 10:23-25
23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

It isn’t but it should be the center of all our communities. Loving people and doing good works out of the Hope that comes from the Word of God and the future hope that we have in Heaven. The Word should lead us to works. It is not either or but both and.

If you are not in a good community, you need to be in one. If your main sense of community is not good community, don’t leave it necessarily. That could be a place where you encourage and challenge others to walk with Jesus. But you go find people that can encourage you and pull you forward. This might not be in the place where you might think. I heard a great sermon from Mark Driscoll about finding community in the people he most respected, professors, fathers and others. Good community might not even be with people you really like. The book Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer is an amazing book of how true community should look and the challenges and joys that come with it and yet it isn’t dreamy and wonderful like we sometimes falsely think it should be. We in America really suck at community. I can say that after being in Africa and seeing true community built out of necessity financially and a culture that values interdependency. I would really encourage you to really ask God to give you community that will help shape you to be like His Son. This is a prayer God will always answer I believe God will honor your prayers of being in good community if you pray for it and are willing to accept the people God has for you.
A couple of more random things and there are so many things that could be said right now.
But, here are a couple:
Go to church to give. Give worship to God. Give encouragement to people. Give prayer for your pastor. Give. Give. Give. Who can I encourage? Who can I pray with? Who can I love on? Blessed are the ones who give and the ones who give are usually the ones who receive. Don’t go to critique, criticize, or judge.
Serve somehow. If you are not serving somehow, you are missing out. Service is essential and serving is for your benefit. Help somewhere. Children’s ministry, janitorial, worship. Somewhere. Church is not a spectator sport.
Tithe. You must tithe. Even if your 10% is only 10 dollars a month. Give something. The first fruits of what you get. And give to the church, first.
Look for humble, honest, faithful leaders. This can go a long way in forming a healthy church.
There are no perfect churches. I learned this the hard way in Zambia because having never not worked at a church; I had to find a church. And wow, what a long, painful process that was. When we came back, we decided to just settle in and go with a church. It is not perfect. But, here are no perfect churches. We desire to give and not just receive. The best you can do is have a list like that one above and ask questions of the church, how are they doing in these areas?